The Story You Want Me To Tell

There’s a meme going around that I like:

Tell me about a story I haven’t written, and I’ll give you one sentence from that story.

I saw it first from AC Wise, who has good ideas, and so I’m stealing this one too. Leave a comment with a brief description of the story you wish I’d tell, and I’ll reply with a sentence – or five – from that story.

Nature hath framed strange fellows in her time

I get some strange comments and email now that I’m creeping toward Internet famous*. Some of them are rude, some are misdirected, and some are asking me to do their work for them, as if I somehow have the secrets to unlocking fame and fortune, now that more than two people know who I am.

None of them actually get from me the thing that they wanted. I don’t even get into arguments over whatever they said. I’m, in general, an “eh, whatever” kind of girl, and “ignore/delete” is my favorite response to being poked with a stick.

I’ve decided to share some examples of the junk mail I get, in hopes that you might learn something. You don’t need to read it all in order to glean the most important lesson. I’ll tell you right now. Lean in. Listen up. Ready?

STOP SENDING ME THESE KINDS OF MESSAGES. IT’S NOT DOING YOU ANY GOOD AT ALL AND JUST WASTES THE TIME OF EVERYONE INVOLVED.

In case you need me to be a little more specific, don’t be these people:

The misogynistic jackass. Says things like “why do you women whine so much” and “you wouldn’t step out of line if I was there you fucking coward”. I know, I know, how could I not swoon at such delightful attention? Instead I ban people, report their IP addresses, and don’t bother to reply to their comments. Continue reading