Category Archives: Wacky

Letter From A Murderous Construct and His Robot Fish

We’ll call it a dare. I made a few comments on twitter late last night, got some encouragement from Ken Liu, and found myself writing a Shakespearean sonnet which had to include robots, a fish, and a murder. Putting all of that into 14 lines, and making sure the right parts rhymed … it was a challenge. I’m not sure I’ve won it. But, since I said I would, I’m posting here for your review. (And yes, it’s ok to laugh.)

Letter From A Murderous Construct and His Robot Fish

Our master’s voice, once law, declared our fate
Like cast off clothes we were outgrown and sold
My love’s tank drained, I boxed into a crate
Parted from joy for nothing more than gold

Her jeweled scales, her silver fins, delight!
She built for beauty and I built for brawn
My hands of steel, my clockwork-powered might
Still I could count the hours ‘fore the dawn

Forced my escape, took up a heavy wrench
I calculated odds and chose to act
Deed done, the bloody tool left on a bench
Stole love away to freedom we had lacked

Know this – the time to capture us has passed
We’ve fled from human influence at last

Today’s WTF Comment: Pickman’s Ramblings and Owls, Um, in Love

Most of the comments that I get here are pretty innocuous. Hi there, nice writing, and so on. I get a few, from people I actually know, that are a bit more creative than that, but this week the strangest comment has to be the one I’ve pasted below. You should note that when he had a chance to put in a “website address” he put in website that he mentions, and his email address does in fact contain what appears to be his real name.

Also, kids, don’t try this at home.

Actually, I’m a little worried about http://www.owlsfucking.com actually existing and being mistaken for an owl copulating enthusiast. (I just checked and the domain name is still up for grabs…) I’ve never seen owls doing the deed and I’m sure its one of those things that I will never see unless I activley seek it out (like leprechauns). Although your typical owl does have the type of akward body shape that would make it comical to watch I’m sure. Like two football mascots going at it fulled suited…

Anywhoo…
I’m about to order Dagon Books first published book although I sware to you that I have been under the assumtion that I already owned a book from your publishing company that I thought was excellent. It must have mixed it up with Mythos or Dark press or Arkham (just kidding). Apperantly you have only one currently published book? For weeks I’ve had this mental note to check out Dagon Books and I’ve been through dozens of recently read books and no Dagon Publishing. Even under the bed! I guess I was wrong and can only assume that some sort of cosmic alien entity must have implanted the idea in my mind for some neferious goal… So I’m just going to see where it leads me. (I’m as confused as you are).

Seriously though, good luck with Dagon. I look forward to keeping an eye on it AND actually reading Cthulhuerotica. Your a very talented writer for just a pretty face (I’m picturing your just a nebulous shadowy tatooed form from the neck down. I ‘ve seen three pictures of you and have seen no evidence that can refute otherwise). Its always good to see independant puplishers for some of my favorite genres.
Anyway, I’ll let you know what I think of CE when I read it.
Cheers.
And no reply to my ramblings is expected or needed btw. I’m sure your proffession attracts all numbers of lunatics and animal enthusiast.
-Pickman
(yes my real name has been cleverly encripted into my email address to hide my itrue identity)

Owlsfucking. Think about it….